SNOW DAY!

today was our first snow day this year

the girlies barely got breakfast down

before throwing on their snow gear 

and running out to the white gold that filled up our yard

they peeled back their layers 

only for a quick hot chocolate intermission

then got right back out there

had i not said it is time to get inside for lunch and school, 

the remainder of our day would have been spent 

making tracks, 

building snow castles, 

filling up the wagon

etc 

and even during school, they asked to do our reading

and any other schoolwork possible

right beside the windows 

so that they could look out at the wonder of it all

and of course i somehow managed to get photos of everything

but the actual playing outside that happened...figures!

on heartache, grace and glory

The last of summer’s bounty.  

Summer, the season usually regarded as my favorite, was harsh to us this year.  We experienced loss on a few fronts - some relatively trivial, others more weighty.  I know that things could be much, much worse, but still my heart has ached over recent times.  There is so much to hurt for and so much to be thankful for and it’s sort of a strange and place to find oneself.  In my head I usually hold on to what I know to be true, but my heart doesn’t always want to follow suit.  And I think that’s ok.  It’s ok to feel all the feels.  It’s ok to acknowledge deep sorrow and pain.  

These past couple months, I’ve shed an awful lot of tears.  I’ve cried in the van while driving the girlies from place to place, I’ve wiped tears away while walking with the girls in the mornings, I’ve even had to pull out the tissues at the beach —my happy place!  And as awkward and uncomfortable as it has been (sorry to all you folks who stopped beside me at a red light, trying not to make eye contact with the crazy crying lady stopped next to you!), I believe the Lord has been working in my heart, despite the moments and days when I’ve dug my heels into the ground, quite literally pitching a fit like a toddler in my prayers.  (thank you, Jesus for your grace and patience with me!)  

I don’t understand the why and that’s really difficult for me, but as desperately as I want to, I know that I don’t have to know the why.  Just the what:  He is God, He is good and He’s asked me very clearly to trust Him.  

There have been so many moments when I’ve thought “I just can’t.” or “I’m so done."  And to be honest, I’ve been stuck in a bit of rut of these kinds of thoughts lately.  And there’s room for that.  His grace is sufficient, His power is made perfect in our weakness.  But it doesn’t stop there.

Last night we went to Bible study after a particularly rough day.  

It was the last thing I wanted to do, but I am so glad I went because something was shared that snapped me right out of my rut.  One of our group members talked about how we often view ourselves in relation to God as cups —when life is going well, our cups fill with blessing and overflow, but when things aren’t so dandy we feel like our cup has been drained.  In reality, we ought to view ourselves as mirrors that reflect the glory of God.  So when things are going well, we praise Him and recognize His goodness to us in that, and when things aren’t going well we can hold on to the fact that all things work together for our good to His glory (Romans 8:28), and rejoice in that too. 

Even in great tragedy and loss, this shift allows us to have not only a right understanding of His goodness regardless of our circumstance, but also allows us to ground our joy in Him, not in our circumstances.  Or as my devotional reading put it this morning (clearly, the Lord wants to make sure this point is driven home for me):  “The most precious truth in the Bible is that God’s greatest interest is to glorify the wealth of his grace by making sinners happy in him - in him!  When we humble ourselves like little children and put on no airs of self-sufficiency, but run happily into the joy of our Father’s embrace, the glory of his grace is magnified and the longing of our soul is satisfied.  Our interest and his glory are one.” 

Amen.  Thank you, Jesus.

that time we threw a tea party

grandmas make everything extra special

so it's no surprise that last time Daniel's mom was in town

she came up with the idea to have a backyard tea party with the girlies

needless to say, it was a hit

but rather than tell you about it, i'll just show you

well, if a picture is worth a thousand words,

i just told you quite the long winded story

but how can you go wrong with baby girls, sunshine and tea parties?

oh that's right, you can't.

everyday grace

friends.

it has been a long and busy couple weeks at our house

we hosted family and friends for 2 weeks straight

which was fun, of course, but also draining

(can i get an amen from all my fellow introverts?)

then, less than 24 hours after seeing our family off

i had to bring my house back into order

AND get everything that wasn't a large piece of furniture off the carpet

now, before you go thinking i like to create strange tasks for myself, 

i should mention that our landlord is selling our house

which means carpet cleaners (hence the pick up frenzy)

then photographers the next day 

(aka more pick up frenzy / stuffing half of our things into boxes and closets)

and now showings for the next 3 days

(try keeping a house showing ready with two toddlers in tow...i dare you)

and amidst all the busy,

there are moments of anxiety, if i'm being honest

about whether the next owner will want to keep us on as renters

or if we'll be out of a house in the next couple of months...

but the Lord has been faithful to remind me that anxiety is not from Him

and He used these verses to encourage me:

"4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. 5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."
(Philippians 4:4-8)

i assure you, as a person who is no stranger to anxiety, i know these verses well

and yet, reading them in context as i read my way through Philippians, 

i was even more encouraged by them

for the first time, i noticed that the verses immediately following these 

talk about God's provision in Paul's life

and that subtle reminder was just what my heart needed that morning

then the next morning, as i faced my mountain of tasks

i decided i'd put some music on to help motivate me

so i searched one of my favorite worship artists and let youtube go to autoplay

and song after song, lyric after lyric

i realized that what my soul needed was to be reminded of Truth

how easily we loose sight of it when our world gets a little rocky

so i sang along and basked in the many evidences of grace in my life

feeling incredibly refreshed along the way

and yet again, this morning, as i read my devotional, 

these words leapt off the page at me:

"There is no misery that Jesus cannot turn into ministry, 

no brokenness He cannot transform into beauty"

our current situation is nowhere near misery or brokenness, 

let's be clear about that

i just loved that picture of restoration and the encouragement it brings

there's so much perseverance and standing firm involved in running this race we call life

it's such a blessing to be reminded of Jesus' work in our lives, especially when the going gets tough

there's evidence of grace everywhere - you just gotta look for it!

(lyrics from "Loyal" by Lauren Daigle)

Wherever I'm With You {the first quarter}

k, so it's been a while (obviously)

i could go into all the reasons why 

and promise to try to be more present

but the truth of the matter is that

in this season of my life, that is a promise that i just can't make

i may not be terribly consistent these days, 

but i do still want to share what i can in this little corner of the internet

especially it's stuff that makes my heart super happy

like the photography challenge i decided to take up at the beginning of this year

the "project" is called wherever i'm with you 

i first heard about from another mama & photographer who i follow on instagram

and it struck a chord with me

so i decided to follow suit

the concept is simple:

once a month, the girlies and i make a point of taking a picture together

it doesn't have to be anything fancy or overly complicated

just a photo for my babies to have with me in the frame

instead of at my usual station behind the lens

so without further ado,

here are my first 4 images of my very own "wherever i'm with you - 2016"

- january - 

{bebes had a case of the giggles & the light was quickly fading

so after umpteen attempts, this is the one we settled for}

- february - 

{looking back at this photo shows me just how much these little people of mine reflect me, 

even in the simplest things, like the way i tuck our hand under my chin sometimes}

- march -

{one girlie's love language is touch, which is definitely NOT the case with her sister.  learning to love each of them in their own way has been both a challenge and a delight for me.  can you tell which one needs extra snuggles from mama? ;) }

- april -

{this one captures a familiar early morning scene at our house - baked oatmeal, jammies & bedhead...a good reminder that the everyday stuff is worth documenting too}

and that's a wrap, folks

i hope you are well

and that we get to connect again sooner rather than later

until next time...