TWO

dear babies / birthday girls,

today you turned two.  where has all the time gone?  how on earth has it only been two years?  i know, i know - those two questions don't make much sense back to back, but it's how i feel...i'm pretty sure it's how every mother feels.  and although i've had two years to wrap my brain around it, i still can't believe i have twins...two beautiful little people, each with her own personality and quirks and likes and dislikes, etc who were once in my womb. unbelievable...truly miraculous.

two is an age i think i'm really going to enjoy with you.  we already have the best conversations ever.  we have inside jokes and make up our own little games.  you help me cook by measuring ingredients and stirring.  you invite me to impromptu tea/dance parties.  we make huge messes then we pick them up...sometimes.  we practice new words and phrases all the time.  (case in point:  you learned how to say "happy birthday" yesterday just so you could repeat the words to teta ["grandma" in arabic] when she got home from work.  there's so much learning going on, in a super fun way, of course.

you love animals, but especially horses, birds and dogs.  we "bird watch" from the window every morning and talk about how each bird walks across the lawn, what kinds of things he might be eating and where he's flying off to next.  you also love pretending to cook and then eating and sharing all your yummy creations.  speaking of cooking and yummy creations, your favorite foods right now are apples, cheese sandwiches, rice, eggs, pizza, green smoothies and avocados - you really are a blend of daddy and me.  oh, and let's not forget your love of jewelry, purses and shoes.  i always say you're two-going-on-twenty, it's true.  you're funny and confident and have the most infectious smiles.  please don't ever change, baby girls.

but more than all of those things put together, you love spending time with daddy.  (i don't blame you, he's a loveable guy  ;) )  you three could come up with crazy games and chase each other around all day long.  you could also snuggle all day long.  and i melt into a puddle every.single.time you do it.  i melt when it hits me that you three, my three favorite people in the whole wide world are mine.  

girlies, when they told me i was having twins, when i first laid eyes on four little feet kicking around on that ultrasound screen, i literally pinched myself.  and i continue to pinch myself every day - how did i end up so blessed?  we really are blessed to have each other.  and it's not a coincidence.  God planned it that way.  because we all need each other, in order to become who He has intended for us to be and do good works that He has prepared in advance for us to do, all for His glory.  how cool is that?  

anyway, i know i asked you not to change earlier, but don't lose sleep over it - i know you will, you do it every single day.  and that's ok.  i'll just focus on savoring each moment we get together.  girlies, your first two years were full of so much awesomeness, and i'm looking forward to what the coming year holds for you.  daddy and i love you so very much and pray for you all the time.  happy birthday, baby girls.  

love, 
your mama  

p.s. we had an awesome day together today.  you picked fried eggs and cheerios with craisins for breakfast then we got all gussied up to go for a walk (i was so happy the weather held out, it's rained every day for the past week or so, but today was nice and dry and you were thrilled to be outside for some of it).  next came naptime and after that we visited with friends and family for a while.  just before daddy came home from work, we ran out to the back yard to catch the last few rays of sunshine, play, and snap a few pictures of my two big girls.  when daddy got home, we skyped with grandma and grandpa then did dinner and measured each of your heights (on the big rulers daddy made for you) before beginning our bedtime routine.  it was great to celebrate you in the little things today...and you're going to flip when you see all the fun things we've got planned for your birthday party on saturday - bananas in pyjamas themed, because you wouldn't have it any other way!  :)  i can hardly wait.  

dear baby girls, 

this letter is long overdue, and i mean loooooooooooooong overdue.  i've written it time and time again in my head while drifting off to sleep, smiling over the things you said and did that day; while listening to you and daddy giggle and play; while watching you learn new skills; while stepping into your room and tucking you in long after you've fallen asleep...  there are so many little moments that i want to remember so that i can tell your stories back to you when you're older.  

the last time i wrote you a letter was exactly four months plus one day ago.  you had just turned 18 months old and were starting to say a couple of words - and now, four short months later, your vocabulary has grown so much!  i think you ask "what's that" about a hundred times a day, if not more - that's one of my favorite of your phrases.  you love barnyard animals (and making animal sounds!) and your rocking horses are a big hit.  we talk about birds and where they live, apples and the trees they grow on, bugs and fish and caterpillars too.  

you're so curious and it's amazing to watch your eyes fill with wonder as you learn so much each and every day.  you also love to play dress up.  you put on hats and layers of jackets, vests, dresses, socks - whatever you can get your hands on, really.  there's usually lots of giggling involved...and then you applaud yourselves.  it's really cute.  sometimes, if i'm lucky, you'll even pose for me to take a picture or two.  

another new skill you've been working on is using your very own silverware.  daddy and i went out and bought you a bunch of forks, spoons and even little knives made for toddlers (although you've not tried those yet).  you've really started to get the hang of using them though - such speedy learners!  speaking of learning, you've also gotten pretty good at building forts and climbing stairs - two of your favorite things to practice.  

ooooh, and here's another exciting thing that's happened lately:  your hair is kinda/sorta/almost long enough to put in pigtails and ponytails!!!  you have no idea how excited mama is about this...you, on the other hand, aren't so keen on having bows in your hair.  you love the idea and ask me to put them in over and over again, but it never lasts long.  oh well, it's a process, just like everything else about this parenting / growing up thing.  

on that note, i'm really loving being your mama.  as always, there are days and moments when i'm so frustrated, i want to pull my hair out; but they're outweighed by all the fun we're having along the way, all the moments when i feel like my heart would burst if i found a way to love you any more, all the times you say and do sweet things that turn this mama into a gigantic, cheesy puddle of mush.  

i'm nowhere near the mother i thought i'd be, but that's ok - what matters is that i'm your mother, and some of the best advice i've been given for this journey of motherhood is this:  "you are the best mother for your baby."  i can't place when or where i heard it, but it's comforted me in those moments when i wondered if i was "doing it right" or struggled with those insecurities that so many mothers face.  if you have your own babies one day, i hope you remember these words.  i hope you know that the Lord will never give you more than you can handle.  that He will strengthen and sustain and encourage you through His word, through those He's placed in your life, and yes, even through old letters and strangers' advice.  you just have to focus on those things when you're feeling down.

i love you, girlies.  daddy and i both do...so so so much...all the way to the moon and back, in fact!  but seriously, we pray for you all the time and hope so many good things for you. 

until next time, with much love, 
your mama

celebrating eighteen

dear baby girls, 

where do i start?  eighteen months have come and gone since the day we met - eighteen!  it's amazing what can change over that amount of time.  if someone told me then what my life would look like now...i flat out wouldn't have believed them.  but here we are, here you are - growing and learning and changing by the second!  

you actually turned eighteen months old a couple of days ago - the same day, ironically, that a huge gallery wrapped canvas print from your newborn pictures was delivered.  i was a bit embarrassed by how long it took me to finally pick and print one of them for our walls, but better late than never, right?  daddy and i are thrilled with how it turned out - it's beautiful and reminds me of how sweet and small and newborn-y you were!  the funny thing is, the print is so big, that you're actually bigger in the picture than you were in real life for the photo shoot.  it's perfect. 

you know what else was delivered this week?  your big-girl car seats!  daddy put so much effort into researching and finding these seats - i hope you like them as much as we do.  he got home from work and right aways began to unpack them as you looked on.  you seemed pretty excited about it - maybe it's a sign.  :)  you're supposed to sit in them until you're 120 pounds or 14 years old, whichever comes first.  with your luck, girlies, you're probably looking at the latter - sorry, we'll try to keep it a secret from your friends...

at least you guys have a great sense of humor, so that should help you cope with being in car seats forever and a day.  you are full of energy and joy - it just beams from the silly little faces that you make all day.  you're loud and crazy and so much fun.  you crack each other up on a daily basis - i love watching you enjoy each other so much:  playing peek-a-boo + sharing stories in your own little language + playing mini games that you've made up = too much cuteness to handle.

you also love music - listening to playlists on my old iPod, singing along with bananas in pyjamas, plunking on the piano keys...doesn't matter what form it comes in; if it's musical, it makes you happy.  i can't blame you; i love watching you enjoy music so much, and singing along to lullabies as we enjoy family time before bed is something i look forward to all day.  along with all the music that fills our days, you've literally taught me to dance like no one's watching...until we all burst into giggles, that is.  i've gotten so used to our little dance parties, i even caught myself dancing in a grocery store aisle all by myself the other day!  people must have thought i was crazy, but i just smiled and thought of you.    

another new thing you've been doing is building your vocabulary - you're up to at least five distinct words, plus you shake your head for "no" (not gonna lie, i'm not a HUGE fan of that last new development...but at least it's cute when you do it!).  it's great to be able to communicate beyond the few signs we use, and i'm actually surprised at how soon it started, since i was told that twins tend to have delayed speech.  then again, i've also been told that every baby is different and so i don't like to compare you to others - you are who you are supposed to be and will develop however you are supposed to develop.  it's all in the Lord's hands, and that's always a good thing.   

well girlies, this letter was full of highlights that we've been sharing recently, but i have to be honest - you're a lot of work, and there are rough days.  that being said, i am getting the hang of it, which translates into enjoying our time together more with each day that passes.  you keep me on my toes and remind me just how ugly my sin is and how much i need to lean on the Lord.  

i pray that just as you continue to grow that my dependence on Him would also grow.  i pray that i would rejoice as i discover more areas of weakness in my abilities, rather than become frustrated with my inability to "pull it together" because they are opportunities to trust Him and grow in my relationship with Him.  I pray that my life would speak for itself when it comes to teaching you these things, that He would work in your hearts even at the tender age of eighteen months.  and that you would grow up to be women deeply rooted in Him, despite the mistakes that i am undoubtedly making along the way.

daddy and i love you so so so much, girlies - thank you for lighting up our lives the way you do.  

love you to the moon and back, 
your mama  

on growth, motherhood and grace

dear baby girls, 

it feels like it's been a while since i last wrote you a letter.  life has been busy and you continue to grow and change so much as the days go by.  last week, you turned 14 months old - it feels like only yesterday when you were 14 days old and i sat here, writing you a letter, dreaming about the future... 

lately, i've had a lot of moments where all of a sudden it hits me that i don't have babies anymore - i've watched you taking first steps, eating meals all by yourselves, having your own conversations in the back of the van, playing together instead of just beside each other, giggling back and forth, playing dress-up, getting a bazillion teeth (well, maybe not a bazillion - but we're up to 12 each now, including some molars!) - I am amazed every day at how intricately the Lord created you and how you continue to grow and learn and change.  

you're learning so much as you get older - i love how daring you are when you explore new things.  you're super curious (sometimes a little too curious for my liking, but still...) and you don't think twice about what might happen as a result of your wanting to discover more about the world around you - let me tell you, as your mother, it is scary to watch you jump and not worry (or even think) about falling, but it's also inspiring to see you chase adventure without letting fear hold you back.  i know it has more to do with the fact that you don't yet understand the danger around you, but it certainly challenges me to evaluate the fears that i have allowed to keep me from moving forward in life and the areas that i need to trust in the Lord's hands.  

that's the crazy thing about motherhood - i went into it expecting to spend lots of time teaching and taking care of you, not realizing that all the while you would teach me about myself, my faith, my relationships - everything, really.  all of a sudden, i'm paying attention to what kind of example i'm setting and realizing how my life experience has shaped me:  what is good and worth passing on as well as what needs to change before my little sponges observe and emulate my behavior.  

it's not always easy, but i know it's for our good.  i love you girls so much and am looking forward to whatever the Lord has in store for our family as we continue to grow and change together.  in the meantime, i'm going to enjoy being silly with you, singing and dancing to your favorite worship music as part of our morning routine, watching your eyes light up with wonder and delight as you experience new things every day and slipping into your room at night long after you've dozed off just to get one more glance at my beautiful babies all curled up.  you are a blessing from above, girlies - and i pray that the Lord would grant us grace and wisdom to raise you in a way that honors Him.

love you to the moon and back, girly-qs!

love, 
your mom

ONE

today, we have two little one year olds

which means we survived the first year of twins

from what we've been told, we're past the toughest part

there were moments when i didn't think we'd see it through

but, by grace (and a ton of prayers, i'm sure!),

He sustained us, like He promised he would

thank you, Jesus, for everything

january 15, 2012

january 15, 2013

dear beautiful baby girls,

today is your birthday.  we have had so many firsts over this past year, starting with the first time we laid eyes on each other and now, your first birthday.  i really can't believe we're actually here, one year later - wow!  you've grown up so much in just these past couple months - it's hard to believe how fast it all happens.  

you're very much into feeding yourselves now, reaching out sticky, food covered fingers to grab my legs when i walk by, or smacking your tray when i don't notice you've emptied it.  and you make the cutest little eating noises - it actually kind of sounds like you're muttering "nom, nom, nom" under your breath!  it's always a challenge to come up with food ideas for those tiny little fingers of yours; recently, bojangles chicken and deer sausage seem to be a big hit - your daddy couldn't be more proud.  

you've also changed a lot in how you play.  i love how you love playing peek-a-boo.  Aria, you especially like scaring people, then giggle up a storm when they jump back.  Ives, you're more into being scared - all we have to do is say "boo" and you flash those pearly whites (all seven of them!).  you also laugh along with us when we're having funny conversations - it really is too cute.  sometimes, we catch the two of you caught up in conversation and cracking each other up - listening to you babble and giggle back and forth just melts my heart.  you know what else melts my heart? the way you've started laying your little heads on our shoulders when you're tired or just need an extra cuddle - a surefire way to turn this mama (and daddy) into one giant puddle.  nevermind the way you're just starting to wave (with both hands at once) and blow kisses - i know i'm biased, but your cuteness factor is through the roof!

but seriously, girls, you light up our lives in a way i never anticipated - you are so full of energy and joy, and when one of those those contagious smiles spreads across your faces, your whole face lights up right along with it!  you've brightened our days in more ways than i can count, but what i am most thankful for is how you have taught us to look to the Lord more and more.  you've made us aware of just how much we are blessed, how good our Lord is to us and the beauty and value found in the grace He offers.  

it's only fitting, really, since your shared middle name is grace (Naima means Grace in Arabic).
we are continually amazed by and immensely grateful for the gift of grace - and it is our prayer that you girlies (and our whole family, for that matter) live lives marked by grace, that we may glorify Him and do the good works which He has prepared for us to do; because when it's all said and done, it's all about Him.  i truly hope you come to understand that truth as you grow up, girlies - it sometimes feels tough, but i promise you, it is the best way to live.  and when the going gets tough, lean on Him:  His grace is sufficient and is made perfect in our weakness - can it get any better? 

anyway, i picked these verses out for you when you were still brand new; they have served as a theme over our family in your first year of life - i hope they continue to ring true as we move forward into year two:
But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.  For by grace you have been saved through faith.  And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.  For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Ephesians 2:4-10 

happy birthday girlies, mama and daddy love you to the moon and back!

love, 
your mom

unpublished

today my littles are ten months old ....will it ever stop taking me by surprise how fast the time flies by?!?  i started this letter to them two weeks ago, and never published it...better late than never, right?  

Dear baby girls,

You are now nine and a half months old!  I know, it's kind of a weird "milestone," but you're growing and developing new skills so fast, it's hard to keep up.  You can sit up really well now, so daddy and I went out last weekend and bought new "sit-up" toys to keep you busy from your new perspective.  You seem to really like them - as soon as I sit you down in your playpen, the squeals and giggles begin.  Although, they're also forcing you to learn to share...which I know will be a good thing in the long run, but right now it means random shrieks and a few extra tears here and there.

Speaking of your playpen - boy, has that thing been a lifesaver!  I love having a space where I know you can play safely while I catch a bite to eat or quickly get something done.  You tend to want me to sit in there with you towards the end of the day, though, which can sometimes get in the way of dinner-making, but some days I can't help but cave.  We play with your toys or read together or practice sitting down and standing up (you LOVE that game!).  And when daddy gets home from work, he usually jumps right in there and you climb all over him - once, we even had our dinner sitting in there while you played happily beside us.  I guess you just like knowing we're near sometimes - must get that from  your mama.  

Another big step we've taken is putting in you separate cribs...I'm not sure if I'm ready, but it's probably better for you at this point (even though my heart is dragging it's feet about it  - how did you get so big, so fast?).  At least I'm the only one upset here - you're pretty cute about it and peek over at each other from your suddenly-much-bigger cribs.  I took a picture of your first time sleeping separately on daddy's iPad - it is such a blessing it is to be able to grab quick snapshots of your life, even when I don't have time to grab the fancy camera.  Ives, you were definitely ready for your own space and Aria, I'm sure you'll get better sleep out of it - in the mean time, you can cuddle with your pillow instead of your sis.  (please don't send me hate mail / mean comments about that - she loves it because it smells like daddy, and she knows how to turn away from it ...I promise you, I would never do anything to endanger my little ones!!!)  

Girlies, I'm just now starting to look through some pictures we took during your delivery and in those first days with you and I can't believe how far we've come.  Let's be honest, some days are really tough and draining, but the Lord has been so good and I'm learning to look to Him when I fail or when feel like I just can't be the mother you need me to be and He pulls through every time.  Life with you two speaks volumes about His faithfulness; never before have I been able to apply scripture so practically to my life (and watch it's transforming work), and for that, I am SO thankful!

At any rate, I'm so glad to have so many memories captured in those pictures - they really do tell a thousand words; I don't think I realized how valuable they would be to me, and it's not even been a year since they were taken...it'll be so fun to show them to you and tell you stories about yourselves when you're older!  I'm beaming just thinking about it.

Anyway, I need to get going - never enough time to get everything done, but such is this season of life and that's just fine.  I love to the moon and back, girlie cues!

love, 

your mom

eight

dear baby girls, 

today you are eight months old - can you believe it?  that's two-thirds of a year!  it's funny, because the months (and i'm sure the years, once we get that far) fly by, but sometimes the minutes and days seem so long!  not that i don't love being with you, because i do - i love you to the moon and back, like i tell you every time i lay you down for a nap; but this parenting thing can be tough!  i struggle sometimes, because i want to be the perfect mom and have everything together even though i know that's unrealistic and silly.  but the Lord has been using you to teach me over and over again that His grace is sufficient and that He is in control (not me!) - i just need to lean on Him, trust and obey as i learn what it looks like to be a Godly mother and wife.  i know i will fall short, but thank God for grace and new mercies every morning - He is so good, girls!

you two are changing so fast and learning so much every day.  Aria, you are my talker: you talk and talk and when i copy your sounds and babble back, you grin from ear to ear. You're happy to have a conversation with anyone who'll listen; you even chatter from your crib when i put you down for naps!  we often walk by saying "bla, bla, bla" just to hear you say it back - it is too cute.  i am so looking forward to being able to understand what you're telling me and hearing what's on your heart and in that head of yours.  Ivy, you are my watcher:  you notice every little thing that goes on around you.  i often catch you peering over the edge of your exersaucer full of curiosity or looking around the corner to see where the sounds you're hearing are coming from.  it'll be so much fun to discover things together as you grow up!  sometimes though, you're a little too observant - like when you notice that soother in your sister's mouth and decide you need both yours and hers.  you know, that's the kind of thing that comes up in wedding speeches - just sayin'!  ;) 

you two are still so tiny (although you've come a long way since birth) - you're only in the first percentile for weight, actually!  so we've spent this past month trying all kinds of new foods to help you put on some ounces (maybe even pounds, finger crossed!).  we do three meals of solids a day now - you love oats with bananas for breakfast and you'll eat avocados anywhere, anytime (just like mama on that one!).  you're not always keen on new foods, but with some positive reinforcement, you're usually pretty good sports about it.

and at the end of the day, when you're fast asleep, you girlies still manage to melt my heart - i cherish our time together during your your "dream feed" every night.  you're so snuggly and you make the most precious sleep sounds!  i think i'm going to miss you at night once you're big enough to not need these quiet late night feeds anymore.  after your feed, i always set each of you down on your own side of the crib, only to find you cuddled together when i come in to call it a night - it brings a smile to my face every single time, believe it or not, it never gets old.  

well girlies, i should be off.  happy eight months - daddy and i are so excited for what's ahead of us as you grow into who the Lord has intended you to be.  We love you and pray for you every day, our beautiful blessing babies.

love, 

your mom  

four year old words

to my Godly, amazing, sweet, supportive, funny, kind, strong etc etc etc husband:

You are my favorite!

I still mean every word of those vows (and then some)

you have been such a blessing to me over these past four years

you have taught me more than i thought was possible

I am so thankful for every second we've had together, 

for the tough times and the great times

for the work the Lord has done in me, in you, in us

for our beautiful family

there is so much to be thankful for!

I love you so very very much and can't wait to see what else the Lord has in store for us as we move forward with life together.  

*photo credit:  james moes*

dear summer

you finally arrived!

(we were beginning to wonder after that "june-uary" stunt you pulled!)

but we all know you tend to be fleeting around here

which is why we've been busy enjoying it while it lasts

here is a glimpse of what we've been enjoying:

ahhh, it's been nice!

feel free to stick around a bit longer - pretty please?

a very happy un-birthday to you!

dear beautiful baby girls,

its been five and a half months since i last wrote you a letter.  and wow, has life changed since then or what?  we actually made it through those dark first few months of the year - your first year...and tomorrow you'll be six months old!  i just can't believe it... i know i say it all the time, but really, where has all the time gone?!?!  you're SO big now - you fit into outfits i thought you'd never fill out, have mini conversations with each other, roll around in your crib, chew on each others hands, suck on your toes and grin at me and daddy when we walk into the room.  you love bathtime and playtime - ivy, your favorite is the jolly jumper and aria, yours is the exersaucer.  our days are full of little giggles, screeches and squeals as you continue to grow and learn new things.


we're hoping to start solids right around your half-birthday so i've been reading up on them.  we'll start with rice cereal, i think, then maybe some pureed veggies.  i'm eager to get you eating avocados and bananas - because those are convenient and travel friendly (i.e. i don't have to worry about them going bad  if they're not kept cool and i don't have to find a way to warm them up when you're hungry).  plus, they are full of great nutrition and happen to be favorite foods of mine.  :)  daddy and i are hoping that with some solids in your system, we'll all get better sleep...you never know!  i think you're ready - you stare at everything we eat and you're obviously teething; we're even starting to see teeth break through your gums!  


i was looking through our delivery photos just the other night and it brought back SO many memories.  i remember arriving at the hospital on that sunny friday afternoon - daddy and i grabbed mcdonalds on the way there (terrible, i know, but i just couldn't keep up with all the calories i had to eat to keep you two growing!).  we checked in and got set up in our room; i remember being hooked up to the IV shortly afterwards - the midwife accidentally went right through my vein with the needle (ouch!)..."not a good start," i thought to myself. but i knew it would end well - i would get to meet my baby girls, after thirty eight weeks of anticipation.  i actually haven't written down our birth story - i should probably do that someday soon, before i forget all the details. then one day, if you're interested, i can tell you all about it.  


anyway, that's all i have time to write for now.  know that daddy and i love you two so very much and pray for you every day.  you are our little blessing babies and we are so thankful for all that the Lord has used you to teach us as we've figured out this whole parenting thing over the last six months.  


love, 
your mom

it's January 29th...

happy due date, girlies!

i can't believe you're exactly TWO weeks old already

life has changed so much in that time; it's hard to remember what it was like before

your dad and i have learned more than we ever thought was possible in such a short spurt

and we've loved getting to know you as we learn to be a family

words cannot express how much we love you little bugs

right now life is a blur of feeding cycles and long nights
we're trying to enjoy the season, knowing that it won't last long
so here's to getting in as many newborn snuggles and late night cuddles as we can squeeze in
despite that moment at 3am when you won't eat, we can't sleep and we wonder if it'll ever get better

before we know it, though, there'll be skinned knees, first loves and everything in between
there's so much to look forward to and enjoy at each stage

right now, group naps on the couch are a favorite
you two are the biggest cuddle bugs and daddy is a human heater - makes for a great combination!

tick, tock

dear babies,


we've passed the 35 week mark and are almost at new year's eve, and yet i've still not seen your little faces.  i had no doubt that i'd have you in my arms by now - obviously wrong on that front.  still, every time my belly contracts or i feel one of you move, i wonder, is today the day?  every night when i build my fort of pillows and get settled into it i wonder, will they arrive before morning?  daddy's pretty antsy about the whole thing - he asks if i feel anything with every toss and turn...we're both just so excited to get to meet you soon!


it seems as if every appointment we go to, the specialists / midwives / doctors / nurses are convinced that we don't have long to go, but for now we wait...and pray for the patience to enjoy this stage for all it's worth!  :)  they've also been telling us about how well you two are doing - daddy and i are so proud of how much you've grown and how well you've developed all your tiny little organs.  you've had so many people praying for you and by the grace of God you've surpassed all of our expectations.


i remember heading into fall and thinking that this winter won't be so bad because i had your arrival to look forward to, but i had no idea how fast the time would fly between all the preparation, appointments, etc - not even born and already a being a blessing to your mama!  these first few months of the year tend to be so dark, wet and discouraging - but this time around i get to look forward to spending time with you while we wait for longer and warmer days.  i have no doubt it'll be rough and there will be lots to learn in those first few months, but i'm also sure it will be an amazing experience - one i've never had before, that will stretch and teach me in ways i can't even begin to imagine!


but enough dreaming for now; i'd rather live in the moment and continue to pray for your safe arrival then take each day in stride, leaning on the Lord to supply the grace i need to navigate this new phase and teach me how to glorify him through my new role as your mama.


love,
your mom

dreaming...

earlier this week, i dreamt the littles had arrived - and all i remember of what they looked like were their teeny tiny little feet!  weird, right?  still, it left me all warm and fuzzy - almost like i really did get to visit with them despite their obvious non-arrival yet...

and since i can't meet them quite yet, i'll settle for writing them a note, since that's all I can do right now.  :)

dear babies, 


wow, so much has happened since i last wrote you a note - i found out there were not one, but TWO of you in there, we went from just starting to feel you move around to karate-chop-dance-parties all day long, from daddy waiting to see you move to daddy referencing alien movies every time you stretch your little selves or push back when someone pokes at you... and the list goes on!  there's also been lots of reading up on twins, researching what you'll need, picking items to start a registry, learning baby-product and mom lingo...there's so much to know!  


all this time spent on baby-related things and i still never get sick of thinking about, talking to and praying for you two - i love you so much and i haven't even met you yet!  its funny though, because in a sense i feel like i'm already getting to know you - i know which of you is more hyper and which one likes to chill, i know where in my belly each of you likes to curl up for a nap, i know what your schedule is like through the day - just little tidbits here and there have taught me about your personalities. 


daddy and i got to hear your little heartbeats today at our midwife appointment - you sure didn't like being pushed around mid-nap, but it was super cute despite the fuss you put up (sorry).  we've also got an ultrasound later this week so i'll get to see you again - i'm so excited to see how you've grown and changed since last time.  i cherish every one of our appointments - they are such special memories & its so nice to learn more about you with each visit.  hopefully you'll be doing well - i know whatever we see and hear, the Lord is ultimately taking care of you, so there is nothing to worry about.  


it has been such a treat to share this experience with you so far - 25 weeks has come and gone fast (although there are times when it couldn't be fast enough).  before i know it, i'll be done carrying you with me everywhere i go ...that's kind of a strange and bittersweet thought for me right now, but I'm looking forward to seeing the plans the Lord has for your lives and for our little family's life as a whole in the months and years to come.   in the meantime, daddy and i will continue to get things ready for you, filling up our home with little things you'll need and our hearts with prayers for you until we finally get to meet you. 


love, 
your mom

to quote bon jovi...

we're halfway there!

...and apparently i like the color blue - maybe it's a sign?  haha.   i wonder if i'll actually double the size that i'm at right now by the end.  only time will tell, i guess.  speaking of time, it's about time i put down in words some of the baby-thoughts that go through my head everyday, so here we go...

dear baby,

i can't believe we're already 20 weeks along!  i remember your early weeks, when i would count down the days, just so i could say we had another week down and now we're halfway there.  where did the time go?  it still doesn't seem real sometimes, even though it's hard to miss when i look in the mirror now.  i've had such a great time carrying you so far - you've been a great sport and i've been very blessed to be feeling well. 

it's been so nice to finally start feeling you moving around in my belly lately.  the first time it happened, your daddy and i were enjoying a long walk when all of a sudden i stopped in my tracks -  i thought i had walked right into something, but it was really just you flicking me from the inside.  every time you kick or push against me, i can't help but smile and thank God for you.  daddy's pretty excited to see your little kicks and pokes -  it's just a matter of time... 

the weather's gotten cooler this week - we're heading into fall and then winter; i'm normally really sad to see summer end, but this year i get to look forward to your arrival in january.  it'll be nice to share body warmth with you as the cold sets in - i've been told you'll keep me pretty warm towards the end. 

i love that we're so close right now, but i can't help counting down the next 20 weeks until we finally get to see and hold you. in the meantime, there's lots of preparation to do.  everything from what to name you to where you'll be sleeping to getting the things we need to take care of you.  God is good and i know He will provide the resources and wisdom we need to make whatever decisions the next couple of months hold for us.  learning to trust Him more is just one of many ways that He has already used you to sanctify me; i'm sure there will be many, many more and i am so thankful for that.   

well, that's all for now.  we love you so much and pray for you every single day. 

love,
your mom

letters

dear life,

could I put you on pause for just a couple hours while I take a nap?

dear airline bigwigs,

I would love to find tickets to NC that fit our timeline and don't cost $500 a person - think you could work something out for me?

dear sun, 

please come back - was it something I said?

dear husband,

thank you for supporting, encouraging and spoiling me in BIG and little ways every.single.day

dear brain,

please settle on this canon vs. nikon issue...sooner rather than later

dear birthday,

I'm secretly kind of sad that you're almost here - has it really been a year already?

dear kitchen, 
please figure out a way to clean yourself after dinner - I've been feeling kind of lazy.  and while you're at it, go ahead and throw a couple loads of laundry in, tidy the living room and vacuum
(I may be a teensy bit behind on housework...)

dear new camera lens, 
I am so excited about you!  now if only I could figure out how to use you properly...

dear beach house,
I miss you and the hot, humid, lazy days we've spent together - we need to catch up


dear family travelling abroad, 
please be safe - we're praying for you!

dear readers, 
thanks for putting up with my long list of letters so far

dear gerber daisy, 
you remind me that it doesn't take much to brighten up a room in a simple, but really pretty kind of way

dear Kitchen, oh how I have missed you...

I didn't realize just how much I would miss my kitchen during our time away from home.  I suppose I missed both my kitchen and the food that comes out of it.  And taking pictures along the way.  And going to the farmer's market.  I even found myself getting all giddy in the fruit and veggie section of the grocery store!

On the evening we flew in, I walked into my kitchen, turned to Daniel and said "if I could hug this kitchen, I would!"  In addition to my excitement to be able to cook for myself again, I have been craving all kinds of wholesome "Angy food," as most of our friends and family have come to know it.  But when you come home after three weeks of being away, there is much to catch up on and get done, so I had to think of good food that I could throw together quick.  

Enter oatmeal - it's warm, relatively quick, needs little attention, keeps you full, tastes great and has endless possibilities flavor-wise...(the list goes on, but I'll spare you and stop there)  I prefer steel cut oats just because I am a texture eater and I find their texture much more appealing than that of the rolled variety.  Also, the steel cut ones have a great nutty flavour to them.  

I got the oats started on the stovetop then walked over to the living room and picked up my copy of Super Natural Cooking - a great cookbook by Heidi Swanson (over at 101 cookbooks.com), wondering if she had a take on steel cut oats.  A quick flip through landed me on a page titled "Seven-Way Steel-Cut Oats" and I knew I'd hit the jackpot.  As the title suggests, she gave a general how-to on cooking the oats, then suggested seven different themes for flavoring them.  I liked the sound of the tropical twist and with a few tweaks to accomodate for my preferences and what I had on hand, the recipe came together beautifully. 

Tropical Twist Steel Cut Oats

(for one - multiply as necessary)

1/4 cup Steel Cut Oats
1 1/4 cups Water
Plain Almond Milk* - to taste
Agave Nectar - to taste
Shredded, Unsweetened Coconut - to taste
Mango Chunks - to taste

*There seems to be quite a range when it comes to different brands of almond milk - I used Silk here, but I also really enjoy Almond Breeze.  I haven't come across others I've liked, but if you have a favorite, certainly go with that one. 

Cook the oats as per package instructions - for mine, I just boiled the water then added the oats and simmered on medium heat for 15 - 20 minutes.

While the oats are cooking, dry toast your coconut (I used a couple tablespoons worth) in a small frying pan.  Once toasted, remove from heat and put aside.  

I used frozen pre-chopped mango, but if you have the fresh kind use this time to chop it up into bite sized pieces then set it aside as well.

Keep an eye on the oats, if they get too dry they may need an extra splash of water.  Once they're cooked, scoop them into a bowl and top with mango, coconut, a splash of almond milk and some agave nectar for sweetener - oatmeal heaven! 

Adapted from Seven-Way Steel-Cut Oats recipe in Super Natural Cooking.