Monday, May 28, 2012

Crickets

...that's been the only sound on this blog for a couple of months now.  rest assured, though, we are alive and well.  things got a little crazy after my last post - lots of sleepless nights, tears, struggles, fears, highs, lows, etc etc etc later and now we've come out on the other end.

i want to tell you all about it, but truth be told, i don't know if i can remember it all - it feels like a dream.  
i can't believe my girlies are four and a half months old already, but at the same time there were minutes in that time span that felt like decades, hours that felt like centuries and so on.  

i know that i am more fortunate than most people around the world, but my ginormous sleep debt, hormones and postpartum emotions were a dangerous mixture that lead me down a very negative road.

thankfully, the Lord is faithful and He used my situation to lovingly teach me
 to walk closer with Him
to trust Him more
to lean on His strength and not my own
to find my joy in Him and not in my situation, whatever it may be
to be grateful
to work towards humility
to remember in the darkness what i know to be true in the light
to grow in appreciation of my loving family and friends
to reach out to others
to cast my cares upon Him

i could keep adding to the list, but i think you get the idea.  i've written this post in my head countless times, and each time, i am overwhelmed with what the Lord has done.  

things are still crazy with the girls, but they've definitely become more manageable (mostly due to a shift in perspective than a change in situation).  hopefully that means i get to spend more time updating you all (if anyone out there still reads this after such a long absence on my part!).  

naptime is almost over, so i'll wrap this up with something a friend of mine said a long time ago - it certainly rings true in my life, now more than ever it seems.

"Whether you’re on the Egypt side of the sea, or finding the faith to step under the dry land with the sea all around, or on the other side of the sea in its safety and security, we are being redeemed.
It’s a journey and its a process. God, in His unfailing love, leads us. In His strength he guides us to a place that’s holy and beautiful. There’s a point in the journey where we find ourselves in that place, and I think we need to stop and realize that God is at work. From a place of thankfulness and praise say that He is glorious, and He is saving us.
It’s a journey of thankfulness in every place.
“In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed. In your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling.” Exodus 15:13

i know the Lord isn't through with me yet - i know this because He has taught me this lesson before, and i am sure He will teach it to me again.  each time i learn more about His character and am more in awe.  
He is so good and i am so grateful for who Jesus is, His work on the cross and His work in my life.
oh and one more thing - i know many of you would love to see how big the girlies are now so here's a little peek into my world:  
 
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