Flashback Friday

it's a grey friday morning

i'm leaving for a girls weekend getaway in less than 8 hours

and instead of picking away at my packing

or cleaning my disastrous kitchen 

or heading out to the grocery store to stock up for the hubby,

who, bless his soul, will be wrangling our wild children all on his own while i'm gone

i've decided to take a moment...

...to sip on my americano

...to listen to a random youtube indie-folk playlist

....to look through these pictures from exactly one year ago

because as much as i've loved the seemingly endless summer we've been enjoying

grey days and slow mornings have a nice kind of feel to them too

also, these pictures were taken
exactly where i'm heading this afternoon, 

exactly one year ago today

and i had this conversation with my girlies this morning:

Me: My babies aren't babies anymore...frown emoticon
A: You're silly mama, babies have to grow up!
Me: But my babies were supposed to stay teeny tiny forever.
A: No mama, that's not how babies work.
I: Don't worry mama, we'll always be your babies.

true story.

apparently, my babies have to grow up - it's how babies work, after all

you know, you get a lot of advice when you decide you want to have babies, 

but they never tell you about that struggle in your heart

the one where you want to watch your babies grow up into who they were intended to be,

while simultaneously keeping them as your babies forever and ever

oh wait, they do

but words can't convey what a mama's heart feels

so sometimes you just need to look through old pictures, 

and gush over your babies

then look up and watch them grow up right before your very eyes

and realize how blessed you are to have the past memories and the here-and-now moments

hello, 2015

happy new year, friends!

i cannot believe 2014 has come and gone

by now, i'm sure you've heard about a bajillion other people say the same thing

(it's not just me, right?)

so i'm going to join the chorus

'cause the latter half of 2014 especially has been a complete and total blur:

a search for a new home

then a move

(thank you, Jesus - always providing just the right thing at just the right time!)

***

a frenzy of s-l-o-w unpacking

mingled with a couple visits from family

(my first time ever hosting people in our home!)

***

my first opportunity to second shoot a wedding

(one of these days, i'll pull together and share some favorites of those images)

***

my sister-in-law's wedding

(hooray, we're so happy for them!)

***

travel, travel and more travel

***

six family birthdays

***

a big Christmas trip

***

my photography business picking up

***

preparations for a two special someones turning three this week

...those are just a few highlights since the crazy began in September,

so i shouldn't be surprised that the whole family is now sick

and the tantrums have kinda hit an all time high

(if you are my neighbour and are reading this, please feel bad for and forgive us...!)

yesterday was particularly rough, 

but today is a new day

and i've decided to hang on to the moments in between the not-so-pretty ones

like these, from a rare half hour or so of quietness and cuddles in our house yesterday

also, i saw this quote a while back

(i can't remember where, so if someone knows who i can give credit to, please fill me in!)

and used it to make a desktop background for my laptop

that has been a great source of encouragement

so if you're feeling a bit frazzled today, 

or if, like me, you are in a season that feels so over your head

here are my two cents for you:

1)  sift out and hang on to the good moments

2)  lean in, hang on to and trust Jesus.  

even if you can't seem to find any good moments, 

know that He loves you, 

He is in control

 and His grace is enough to get you through

cast your cares upon him; He will sustain you and give you rest

happy first day of fall!

fall? already? what?!

we had what felt like the eternal summer this year

(actually, it's still going strong - yesterday was HOT and sunny!  ...and I'm loving every second of it)

but somehow, i'm still shocked that we're not still in March

this year has really, truly been a blur

but blurry or not, we've made it to the first day of fall

and of course, i had my first pumpkin-y meal for breakfast:  pumpkin pie "n'oatmeal"!

i'm not quite ready to share it with you

(just have to try one more tweak then you'll be the first to know - promise!)

until then, i wanted to share this little gem from my devotional this morning

(from today's morning reading in Morning and Evening by Charles Haddon Suprgeon)

Every attribute of God should become a fresh ray in the sunlight of our gladness. 

That He is wise should make us glad, knowing as we do our own foolishness. 

That He is mighty, should cause us to rejoice who tremble at our weakness. 

That he is everlasting, should always be a theme of joy when we know that we wither as the grass. 

That He is unchanging, should perpetually yield us a song, since we change every hour. 

That He is full of grace, that He is overflowing with it, and that this grace in covenant He has given to us; that it is ours to cleanse us, ours to keep us, ours to sanctify us, ours to perfect us, ours to bring us to glory-all this should tend to make us glad in Him.

...So let God's people now rehearse the deeds of the Lord! Let them tell of His mighty acts, and "sing unto the Lord, for He hath triumphed gloriously." Nor let them ever cease to sing, for as new mercies flow to them day by day, so should their gladness in the Lord's loving acts in providence and in grace show itself in continued thanksgiving. Be glad ye children of Zion and rejoice in the Lord your God.

(full devotional here)

so thankful that in my foolishness, my weakness, my finitude, my unsteadyness

i can and i should be glad in Him!

wonderful wonder all around

i have a couple blog posts in the works right now

that were supposed to be up last week,

buuuuut, they're not quite ready so for now they remain in my drafts pile

instead of leaving you empty handed though, 

i thought i'd share a quote i heard over the weekend

as soon as i heard it, i thought of this exact picture i took on our way home from camping

(more camping pics coming soon, by the way)

and this morning i put the two together and came up with this:

"be aware of wonder"

there are so many wonderful and awe-inspiring things in our every day lives

so much to be thankful for

little evidences of grace all around us

we just need to make ourselves aware of it all

i often catch myself taking  for granted my life / kids / family / all the good things that i enjoy every day

then remind myself to notice them, savor them

so today i'm encouraging you to do the same:

take a look around, 

make yourself aware of the little things that make life wonderful

(and hey, if there are big things too, all the better!)

can't think of anything?  here are some examples to get you started:

- sunshine

- loved one's smiles

- nature

- berries

- children laughing

- the salty ocean breeze

- a good friend

- love

- sacrifice

- redemption

- dark chocolate

- coffee

- big life events (weddings / births / graduations / etc)

now it's your turn

what wonderful thing(s) do you want to take the time to become more aware of (and thankful for) today?

under the weather + under the boardwalk

well, as you can guess from the title of this post

(or at least from part of it)

we've been under the weather this week,

battling a pretty nasty stomach bug

it started with Daniel on saturday

then by monday i fell victim to it

and today, the girlies seem like they're fighting something 

(hoping it's not the same thing we had, cause that was bad - we'd appreciate any prayers on that front!)

in the midst of all this sickie-chaos / whine-fest / mama-just-wants-her-coffee madness this morning, 

i looked up and thought to myself, 

"how is this week not over yet?!  i don't even think i can make it through today"

then i picked up my 50 promises stack and flipped to the next verse

as i reached out, i half heartedly thought to myself, 

"wouldn't it be ironic if the next verse was just what i needed to read?"

and of course, what do you think happened?

"do not be afraid; for i am with you.  

do not be dismayed; for i am your god.

i will strengthen you, i will help you, i will uphold you 

with the right hand of my righteousness."

my Jesus never fails

i'm so grateful for His help, the reminder of which i needed so badly this morning

and let's be honest, the morning didn't miraculously get better

the kids are still whining,

my head is still pounding,

my coffee is still barely sipped

BUT

i'm leaning on Him for strength to apologize to my kids when i'm short with them

or better yet, before i hit breaking point i am able to stop and say a little prayer

to ask for His help, His strength, His patience, His love, His kindness

***

on a {mostly} unrelated note,

sitting in bed while i was sick

gave me time to finish sorting through my phone pictures from our most recent day at the beach

this batch is mostly from under the boardwalk

there's just something magical about a space that's not always accessible

and just look at the crazy designs from the water's reflection on the wood planks...so cool!

i love it when the tide's out...and i love sharing these beautiful things with my munchkins (and you!)

a decade of Dangy

8 dinners at the olive garden

carpooling to school and back in a little red civic

long summer days, bonfires, late night beach walks

extreme croquet, extreme bocci (slap "extreme" infront of anything and it instantly becomes more fun)

working side-by-side on campus

tackling classes like statistics together (ugh)

tears...lots of tears (i cry when i'm happy and when i'm sad!)

a late night out on a rugby field, watching planes take off through corridors of stars shining bright 

coffee dates, dinner dates, anytime dates

road trips, camping, kayaking, hiking, picnicing, garage-saleing

rugby games, basketball games, volleyball games, 

talking you into dressing up as a bunch of grapes for halloween

a beautiful engagement, wedding planning, 

learning how to love each other

ikea dates, naps in parking lots

honeymooning, our first place together, bumps in the road

walking with Jesus together, forgiveness

fresh flowers, saturday morning baking, football games, anniversaries, 

finding a barn in the middle of nowhere that sells the BEST ice cream and pies, B&Bs

new jobs, new place, new cars, new friends

long walks, "growing up", making decisions

babies...twins!

loooooong nights, compromise, sacrifice

love that is deeper, messier and more fun than i ever expected

what on earth do all these things have to do with each other?

they are a snapshot;

a handful of memories from the last ten years spent in with Daniel 

happy aniversary, you old fart - here's to ten more!

a pinch of weekending, a dash of parenting, a heap of grace and a grain-free pizookie!

hi friends!

how was your weekend?

my big event was hosting a "welcome baby!" party for my two week old niece on saturday

which meant a quick coffee with friends then a bunch of errand running on friday

followed by some great napping (on the girls' part anyway)

we kicked off saturday pretty early by bundling everybody up and heading to the beach

on a cold, windy, snow-in-the-forcast morning

because i'm crazy and my family loves me enough to play along

well, that and i had to pick up some macaroons for the party later that day 

(which were amazing, by the way!

if you're local, you have to pop by Spiritual Ingredients Bakery on East Beach and give 'em a try!) 

sadly, i was too busy playing hostess to get any pictures of said macaroons

or anything at the party, actually

but i did snap this shot from our beach outing:

there's so much i love about this picture, my heart is filled everytime i look at it

my best friend + my girlies + the ocean + early mornings = the stuff my dreams are made of!

i love that they were willing to come along and turn an errand into a family adventure

and i love having moments like this to flip back to on my phone

(technology these days can be such a blessing sometimes, can i get an amen?)

especially on the not-so-splendid days...like sunday

sunday actually wasn't all-bad, 

it was just heavy on the parenting-two-year-olds-is-exhausting/frustrating/sanctifying scale!

i'm learning that i'm much less patient than i thought i was

but i'm working on that

because grouchy mama isn't someone i like to be

and i'm pretty sure it isn't someone the girlies want me to be either

sometime in the afternoon i looked up from whatever i was doing at the kitchen sink,

saw one of my 50 promises and decided it was time to choose a better attitude

because seeking righteousness doesn't always come easy, but the reward is totally worth it

i know that in my head, but sometimes my heart forgets

later that night we had family over for a games / dessert night which was super fun

i tried my hand at a grain-free pizookie for us to enjoy

there was hot coffee for the girls and fancy beer for the boys

all of which was wonderful

but long after the coffee had grown cold, the pizookie was reduced to crumbs

and the game had been played (twice!)

 came my favorite part of the night:

we sat there, chatting away, 

sharing funny stories and insights,

learning about each other - our struggles, our loves, our plans...

i soaked up every minute of building community and deepening relationships,

beaming on the inside and thinking myself

"this here is evidence of grace, and i am so thankful for it."

so there you have it - my weekend in a bit more than a nutshell...

oh, and before i sign off, here's that pizookie recipe

this was the original recipe, below is my tweaked version! 

Paleo[ish] Pizookie

(grain free, dairy free and honey sweetened)

Ingredients:
1 cup almond meal / flour
2/3 cup cashew meal / flour
1/3 cup coconut flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
1 cup chocolate chips1 egg, at room temperature
(my free-range, local eggs tend to be bigger than "regular" eggs. if you're using the latter, use a jumbo or extra large.  also, the easiest way to bring an egg to room temp is to stick it in a bowl or cup of room temp water for 10 minutes or so)
1/3 cup organic honey
1/4 cup coconut oil
1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract


Directions:
- melt your coconut oil in a small pan on medium heat then remove set aside once it's melted


- meanwhile, combine your dry ingredients (almond meal through to sea salt) in a large bowl and mix using a fork


- stir in chocolate chips


- in a separate, smaller bowl, beat your egg then add the rest of the wet ingredients (honey, coconut oil, vanilla)
note: make sure the coconut oil is not hot enough to start cooking your egg! 


- add the wet ingredients to your dry ingredients and stir until just combined


- chill dough in the fridge for at least 30 minutes


- once you're ready to bake the pizookie, preheat your oven to 350* F and turn the dough out into a greased 12" cast iron pan (i used bacon grease!).  

- press the dough into the pan evenly (it's totally normal for your dough to be quite a bit  thicker than typical cookie dough), give it a good sprinkle of sea salt then pop it into the oven for 25 to 30 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean and your pizookie is a nice golden brown.  


cut like you would a pizza and enjoy...but watch out for those hot chocolate chips!

hello, 2014!

well, it's the first monday of 2014

2014 !!!

is it just me, or does it feel like that whole Y2K fiasco was just yesterday?

and yet, here we are, 14 new years later...

the holidays are behind us, kids are back in school and we're all officially back to "real life"

but before jump into the new year, lets talk about the holidays

ours were wonderful

i got to experience my second Christmas as a parent,

which, let me tell you, is so much more exciting than Christmas before kids! 

our girlies were totally spoiled, and we felt incredibly blessed

then came new years
we spent ours with our best friends
we had a lovely evening including cheese fondue + lots of laughter
and as if that wasn't refreshing enough,
the kiddos actually went to sleep without too much fussing (miracle of miracles!),
which allowed us to have some much needed adult-time
...not that we did anything crazy, but sometimes it's nice to give someone my undivided attention, you know?

speaking of new years, this is the time of year to make new years resolutions!
...except, i've never been too keen on them
i know, lame
what i have done the past couple years
is identify a theme for my spiritual / prayer life
it's not something that i actually ever planned on doing
it just sort of...happened

2012 was a tough year for me
i was a first-time mother of twins who weren't too keen on sleeping
and had a pretty rough bout of post partum depression
we had to move unexpectedly in the first few months of the girlies' lives
i was unable to maintain basic things like friendships, a healthy diet or anything regular, really
my life had suddenly shifted from one that was independent and in control
to a totally chaotic life that had me leaning on others for just about everything
it was an exhausting, difficult and humbling year,
which actually lead me to more time reading my Bible and praying that probably ever before
and through it all, there was a clear theme that the Lord kept pressing on my heart:
turn your eyes upon Jesus
and so i did,
and every time i was discouraged or having a hard time, i would repeat those words to myself,
refocus on Jesus,
and trade my sorrows and heaviness
for peace, joy and intense gratitude for the work the Lord was doing in my life and in my heart
i began to realize just how blessed i am

2013 was much less intense, thankfully
but it was still insanely busy and stressful
i started a business
i continued this crazy journey called parenting
i returned to many pre-baby tasks that had been on hold
(simple things, like making dinner and regular cleaning...i wasn't kidding when i said 2012 left me dependant on everyone around me - thankfully, i have loving family and friends who graciously served me)
i worked through some personal struggles
i made a point to reach out to and connect with other new mothers / homemakers
(for a while there, the girlies and i were out for around three "dates" per week!)
i spent a chunk of time in prayer and discussion with Daniel about deciding to undergo a big job-change
i spent at least one day a week with an extra toddler in tow

...needless to say, my plate was very full
making sure i was regularly reading my Bible and spending time with the Lord became difficult
but the times that i did, i often felt the Lord direct me to Matthew 6, verse 33:
"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, 
and all these things will be added to you."
so, my theme for 2013 became that verse
i found it especially helpful when i felt overwhelmed by all the "busy" around me
it was almost like a reset button that helped me refocus on what was truly important

it's early yet in 2014, but i've already noticed a prominent theme in my prayer life for the year:


trust in the Lord

we're not even a week into 2014,
and i've already repeated those words to myself countless times

 we've got some big decisions ahead of us this year
plus the little decisions we make in everyday life
and i want to train my heart to put it all in the Lord's hands
instead of letting my thoughts lead me to a place of anxiety,
which is not only miserable, but also fruitless

so far, it has been incredibly rewarding
to be intentional about practically applying these verses to my life
and enjoy the Lord's peace more fully than i ever have before
i can honestly say, i am so looking forward to trusting Him more this year

now it's your turn to talk!
how are you approaching the year ahead?
did you make any resolutions?
how about resolutions that apply specifically to your spiritual life?

feel free to join the conversation in the comments,
i'd love to hear from you!

Christmas Traditions

are there certain things that your family does every year during the Christmas season?
growing up, we didn't have many Christmas traditions

but the few we did have are so special to me

if you follow me on instagram, you saw this post last week:

my mom has been baking up a storm lately
she's made a little of this, and a little of that
but mostly she's made batch after batch of these, using my Grandma's secret recipe:

aren't they gorgeous?

they're an Egyptian cookie called "Kahk"

(always a fun word to try and teach someone ;) )

and they don't tend to last long around here...

i've never had the chance to try my hand at making them
(my mom's copy of the recipe is in Arabic - darn, should have paid more attention in Arabic class!)
but i do know that they use up an awful lot of ghee,
they make the house smell amazing,
and they take me back to Christmases past and growing up
most of all, they bring back so many wonderful memories of my grandma

she was an amazing woman, a prayer warrior and the most selfless person i've ever known,
she was also probably the most sarcastic person i've met- the woman was hilarious!
she lost her battle with cancer years ago, but i feel lucky and blessed to have grown up with her around
i'm thrilled that she's pain-free and with Jesus now
and i love thinking back to all those happy times watching her bake and laugh and enjoy life with us

who would have thought that something as simple as Christmas baking could mean so much?
i certainly didn't think much of it growing up
(well, i looked forward to the end product of all that baking, but that was about it!)
but in hindsight, i realize that family traditions mean so much more than simply doing the same things
year after year

so i did some research this weekend,
and made note of some ideas for traditions we can start with the girlies
most will have to wait till next year,
either because it's too late in the season
or because they're just a tad too young to understand / enjoy them this time around

here's what we've already done / started doing this weekend (with our now almost 2 year olds):
- sing Christmas carols together
- give them new Christmas jams on Christmas Eve,
so they can wear them that night and while opening presents the next morning
- baked some awesome ninjabread men
(recipe and pictures coming soon!)
- continued our celebration of Advent at church

and just like that, we've made a step towards creating our own traditions
i'm super excited to make more with my little family
and am really looking forward to being able to explain to them the real meaning of Christmas next year
of Jesus' birth and what that means and why it is such a joyful occasion

i hope you're enjoying the season and feeling festive today,
feel free to share your Christmas traditions in the comments
(or any good ideas for two year olds! ;) )

dear baby girls, 

this letter is long overdue, and i mean loooooooooooooong overdue.  i've written it time and time again in my head while drifting off to sleep, smiling over the things you said and did that day; while listening to you and daddy giggle and play; while watching you learn new skills; while stepping into your room and tucking you in long after you've fallen asleep...  there are so many little moments that i want to remember so that i can tell your stories back to you when you're older.  

the last time i wrote you a letter was exactly four months plus one day ago.  you had just turned 18 months old and were starting to say a couple of words - and now, four short months later, your vocabulary has grown so much!  i think you ask "what's that" about a hundred times a day, if not more - that's one of my favorite of your phrases.  you love barnyard animals (and making animal sounds!) and your rocking horses are a big hit.  we talk about birds and where they live, apples and the trees they grow on, bugs and fish and caterpillars too.  

you're so curious and it's amazing to watch your eyes fill with wonder as you learn so much each and every day.  you also love to play dress up.  you put on hats and layers of jackets, vests, dresses, socks - whatever you can get your hands on, really.  there's usually lots of giggling involved...and then you applaud yourselves.  it's really cute.  sometimes, if i'm lucky, you'll even pose for me to take a picture or two.  

another new skill you've been working on is using your very own silverware.  daddy and i went out and bought you a bunch of forks, spoons and even little knives made for toddlers (although you've not tried those yet).  you've really started to get the hang of using them though - such speedy learners!  speaking of learning, you've also gotten pretty good at building forts and climbing stairs - two of your favorite things to practice.  

ooooh, and here's another exciting thing that's happened lately:  your hair is kinda/sorta/almost long enough to put in pigtails and ponytails!!!  you have no idea how excited mama is about this...you, on the other hand, aren't so keen on having bows in your hair.  you love the idea and ask me to put them in over and over again, but it never lasts long.  oh well, it's a process, just like everything else about this parenting / growing up thing.  

on that note, i'm really loving being your mama.  as always, there are days and moments when i'm so frustrated, i want to pull my hair out; but they're outweighed by all the fun we're having along the way, all the moments when i feel like my heart would burst if i found a way to love you any more, all the times you say and do sweet things that turn this mama into a gigantic, cheesy puddle of mush.  

i'm nowhere near the mother i thought i'd be, but that's ok - what matters is that i'm your mother, and some of the best advice i've been given for this journey of motherhood is this:  "you are the best mother for your baby."  i can't place when or where i heard it, but it's comforted me in those moments when i wondered if i was "doing it right" or struggled with those insecurities that so many mothers face.  if you have your own babies one day, i hope you remember these words.  i hope you know that the Lord will never give you more than you can handle.  that He will strengthen and sustain and encourage you through His word, through those He's placed in your life, and yes, even through old letters and strangers' advice.  you just have to focus on those things when you're feeling down.

i love you, girlies.  daddy and i both do...so so so much...all the way to the moon and back, in fact!  but seriously, we pray for you all the time and hope so many good things for you. 

until next time, with much love, 
your mama