Monday, March 18, 2013

on growth, motherhood and grace

dear baby girls, 

it feels like it's been a while since i last wrote you a letter.  life has been busy and you continue to grow and change so much as the days go by.  last week, you turned 14 months old - it feels like only yesterday when you were 14 days old and i sat here, writing you a letter, dreaming about the future... 

lately, i've had a lot of moments where all of a sudden it hits me that i don't have babies anymore - i've watched you taking first steps, eating meals all by yourselves, having your own conversations in the back of the van, playing together instead of just beside each other, giggling back and forth, playing dress-up, getting a bazillion teeth (well, maybe not a bazillion - but we're up to 12 each now, including some molars!) - I am amazed every day at how intricately the Lord created you and how you continue to grow and learn and change.  
you're learning so much as you get older - i love how daring you are when you explore new things.  you're super curious (sometimes a little too curious for my liking, but still...) and you don't think twice about what might happen as a result of your wanting to discover more about the world around you - let me tell you, as your mother, it is scary to watch you jump and not worry (or even think) about falling, but it's also inspiring to see you chase adventure without letting fear hold you back.  i know it has more to do with the fact that you don't yet understand the danger around you, but it certainly challenges me to evaluate the fears that i have allowed to keep me from moving forward in life and the areas that i need to trust in the Lord's hands.  

that's the crazy thing about motherhood - i went into it expecting to spend lots of time teaching and taking care of you, not realizing that all the while you would teach me about myself, my faith, my relationships - everything, really.  all of a sudden, i'm paying attention to what kind of example i'm setting and realizing how my life experience has shaped me:  what is good and worth passing on as well as what needs to change before my little sponges observe and emulate my behavior.  

it's not always easy, but i know it's for our good.  i love you girls so much and am looking forward to whatever the Lord has in store for our family as we continue to grow and change together.  in the meantime, i'm going to enjoy being silly with you, singing and dancing to your favorite worship music as part of our morning routine, watching your eyes light up with wonder and delight as you experience new things every day and slipping into your room at night long after you've dozed off just to get one more glance at my beautiful babies all curled up.  you are a blessing from above, girlies - and i pray that the Lord would grant us grace and wisdom to raise you in a way that honors Him.

love you to the moon and back, girly-qs!

your mom

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